How to Not Fall Out with People who see Covid Differently

Do you have relatives who view this Covid situation very differently to you and it causes arguments? Do you have friends who no longer speak to you because of your views? Maybe you feel very alone because you are the only person in your world who sees this pandemic as something different to the mainstream picture. You are not alone. You are so not alone.

But it’s important that we don’t let this situation divide us while we still stay true to our beliefs. Here are a few ideas for how you could do that…

DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO HANDLE IT

Humanity is going through a worldwide situation that it has never experienced before. So, the bottom line is, there is no manual on how to relate to people you care about in a pandemic (or as some people see it – a Plandemic). We are all having to make it up as we go along, and you can only do your best. Keep learning and keep doing your best – that is good enough.

ADULTS ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN OPINIONS

Remember that another adult is entitled to their own opinion even if you think it is outrageous. This can be really hard if it is somebody you care about and you think they are walking into a bus but, at the end of the day, you can only offer your insights and then it is really up to them. I have a personal situation like this with a family member regarding the vaccine but this person is an adult of sound mind so she must make her own choice even if I think it is a grave mistake.

ACCEPT THAT THERE WILL BE A WIDE SPECTRUM OF UNDERSTANDING AT THIS POINT IN TIME

In a worldwide situation like this where we get a lot of our information through the media, mainstream and social, there is bound to be a broad spectrum of understanding. This will depend on where people get their information from and how much of that information is distorted or exaggerated. I think we have known for a long time that the media can be selective about what it reports and how it is edited to create a specific emotional reaction. Sometimes it is necessary to dig a bit deeper to find out what is really going on. Some people will and some people won’t which naturally creates a broad spectrum of understanding. Try to accept this and just keep on making sure that you are fully informed.

JUST ASK QUESTIONS IF THE SITUATION IS REALLY SENSITIVE

Sometimes the people around you are so entrenched in a way of seeing the situation that is different to yours that there is really no point in trying to have an open discussion with them about it. In fact, this could lead to serious arguments that divide family and friends and we need to avoid that as much as we can now. However, a fairly safe way of putting your view across in this situation and maybe get them to consider it is to just ask a question. If it’s about Covid you might say something like “I wonder why the statistics show that…………?”, “I wonder why the government keeps…..? “Did you hear about the scientists that say ………?”. However, don’t react if you get a blank or gruff response – you have raised your point and maybe planted a seed that may grow as time goes on.

USE “SOME PEOPLE SAY…”

There is an interview technique that I learned when I was doing journalistic work that enables you to raise a controversial point without creating a conflict situation. That technique is “Some people say that…”. You then add whatever your opinion on the subject is, but the other person does not see it as an opposing point from you personally. For example: “Some people say that the PCR tests show that people are positive when they are not”, “Some people say that the vaccines haven’t been tested properly and might cause adverse reactions”, “Some people say that lockdowns don’t work”. You get the idea.

BE PATIENT AND COMPASSIONATE

While the world is going through a situation that is constantly changing, people will see the truth at different rates. Be patient. It is only natural that you want your nearest and dearest to be on the same page as you but that may take time. Eventually, and I say this without a shadow of a doubt, the underlying truths will emerge, and many will start to see them for themselves. However, you may have to accept that, even with the truth in full light, the other person may need to cling to the more comfortable beliefs. This is human nature and to rip this away from them would be highly uncompassionate. Choose to be kind but make sure that you are getting your sharing needs met with like-minded people elsewhere.

**DECIDE IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GO THERE**

You may weigh up the situation and decide that the cons outweigh the pros of trying to get this person to see what you see. Ask yourself, is it really worth falling out over? We need each other at this time, and you may sacrifice a good relationship unnecessarily. Besides, as time goes on you may find that they start to wake up naturally to what you have been saying all along. If you really want to say something try the ‘Ask a Question’ or ‘Some People Say’ techniques.

DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY

If this person really cannot see your side at all and is getting cross with you for even raising it, don’t take it personally. They are holding on to their belief for a number of reasons one of which could be that it might just blow their fuses if they did see the truth at this stage. It is more about them than you.

DISAGREE WITH GRACE

If you do want to actively disagree, do it with grace. Stay calm and don’t make them wrong. You can agree to disagree and don’t try to convert them. Also, try and acknowledge where you do agree. They may raise some good points, too.

BE WILLING TO REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE SITUATION IF IT BECOMES HEATED

If the discussion is turning into an argument be willing to remove yourself from the room, at least for a while. Do this in a calm and gracious way so it doesn’t look like you have stormed out. You are merely leaving the situation to cool down, you are not having a tantrum. Another way to cool a heated situation is to deflect to another subject. Again, do this in an adult and dignified way.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional although I have done a lot of research on work presented by people who are medical professionals. However, this information is for education only, it is not prescriptive, and should be used at your own discretion.